Augustus!

The emperor Augustus, writing when he was the patrician Octavianus, is known by only complete epigram:

 

Anthony’s shagging Glaphyra. So his wife, Fulvia, vows

revenge by screwing me! No chance! I loathe these lustful cows!

And Manius, Anthony’s companion, waggles his stiff rod

at my defenceless arse. Unwanted bliss, by god!

“Screw, or fight’, says Fulvia. “Is your cock so proud?

Rather death than me? To bed! Horns triumphant, blare out loud!”

 

 

Burl, Audrey. Catullus. A Poet in the Rome of Julius Caesar. With a selection of poems translated by Humphrey Clucas. London: Constable, 2004. xxii-298 p. Quote Octavianus pp.4-5

Octavian epigram: Courtney, pp. 282-3; Lindsay, 1965, p. 175; Martial, Epigrams, XI, line 20; Bailey, 1993, pp. 20-21.

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